How to choose the right help when you’re outgrowing yourself
In the early days of building a business, you probably don’t need much help. Not professionally, at least. You’re hands-on, reactive, working things out as you go. Most of us start like that; high energy, low resources, and a lot of late nights and problem-solving on instinct.
And honestly, in those early stages, help might not even be affordable, let alone essential. But then something changes.
The business grows, complexity creeps in, and suddenly the weight on your shoulders shifts from operational survival to strategic decisions you’ve never had to make before. You hit the edge of what you know. You run out of energy and you start making it up, not because you’re lazy or careless, but because you’ve never been here before.
That’s when the right help stops being a luxury and starts becoming a necessity.
Why the founder to owner gap is so hard to cross
When I started my first company, I didn’t need a coach, I needed sleep, I needed sales, and I needed to figure out what worked and do more of it. I wore every hat, and at that time, that made sense. But as the company grew, the problems changed, and so did I. What was once a sprint of passion and enthusiasm turned into something longer, heavier, and far more strategic. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I was no longer just the founder. I had to become the owner; someone who could build a business that functioned beyond me. That required a different mindset, different skillset, and crucially, different support.
That’s when I learned the hard truth: the advice that works for a £500k business might actively hurt a £5m one. And if you don’t know what that next level looks like, how a company works at that level, and how it feels, how will you prepare yourself or your team.
We don’t know what we don’t know
A question I now ask others, but wish I’d asked myself sooner, is this:
“Have you ever run a £5m business, or even a £1m business? Because that’s what you say you want to build.”
And if the answer is no, you need to get serious about one of two things:
- Wait until you can work it out and travel a road of sacrifice and hard lessons, or
- Bring in help, and learn quicky from people who’ve walked that road before you.
This is where a lot of founders get stuck. They assume the next stage of growth is just “more of what worked before.” More marketing, more people, more revenue, more busy.
But beyond a certain point, that logic breaks down. You don’t grow to £5m by being the busiest and smartest person in the room. You grow by building systems, letting go, and levelling up your team, and that’s hard to do if you’ve never seen what good looks like at that level.
What I really needed (and maybe you do too)
Here’s something I learned the hard way, and it’s not something you’ll find on most coaches’ websites or in many business books (except mine ).
When I was growing my first real business beyond the early six-figure mark, I hit a wall. Not because things were going wrong, they weren’t. But because they were getting bigger and faster than I was ready for. Everything was unfamiliar. The problems were bigger, the stakes were higher, and I couldn’t rely on gut instinct anymore.
What I needed in that moment wasn’t just a circular and repetitive framework or theory. I needed:
- Guidance from someone who had actually been there.
- Suggestions in the real-world “this is what I’d do if I were you” insights, not just “what are our options, what do you think we should do”.
- Empathy, because when you’re scaling for the first time, it feels like everyone expects you to have the answers, but in reality, you’re still working out the questions.
- And I needed practical advice, not motivational posters or abstract models, a workshop or workbook.
I wanted someone who could sit beside me, not talk at me. Someone who understood what it feels like to juggle people, products, performance and pressure, all while pretending you’ve got it handled. That’s not to say there’s no value in theory-based coaching or structured programmes. Far from it. For the right person, at the right time, they can be incredibly useful. But that’s the key point: you have to know what kind of help is right for where you are now, and where you want to go next.
If you’re a founder building something you’ve never built before, and you’re serious about getting to the next level, you need to ask:
“Will this person help me grow my business, or just help me think about my business?” Both have value. But only one moves the dial when the pressure is on.
“When the wheels are spinning fast, you don’t just need clarity. You need challenge, relevance, and someone who gets it, not just intellectually, but viscerally”.
Who should you bring in and when
Let’s demystify the crowded landscape of coaches, mentors, consultants, and sounding boards. Here’s what they each really do and why it matters:
| Role | Best For | Watch Out For |
| Coach | Mindset, clarity, behavioural change, habit shifts | Theoretical insight without commercial experience |
| Mentor | Wisdom from someone who’s built or exited businesses like yours | May be too far removed from day-to-day execution |
| Consultant | Specific, practical solutions to defined problems (e.g. finance, systems, scaling strategy) | Can lack empathy for the founder journey |
| Sounding Board / NED | Strategic reflection, high-level challenge, external perspective | Must have real-world leadership and growth-stage experience |
Now I know I’m generalising and it’s not my intention to disrespect anyone with the titles we are talking about, but I have been caught out myself in my earlier days by those who can talk the talk but have never walked the talk.
So what’s the sweet spot? To my mind, someone who blends experience with insight, empathy with challenge, and someone who’s walked the road and can walk alongside you now. And no, this is not a sales pitch, but it is a clarity pitch – for you to be crystal clear on what you need now to move you and your company to where it needs to be next.
Founders ask yourself these questions first
Before you bring anyone in, get radically honest about what you need. Start here:
- Where am I currently winging it?
- Am I making the same decisions on repeat, just with bigger numbers?
- What stage of business have I run before, and what stage am I now trying to reach?
- Do I need someone to challenge my thinking or help implement solutions?
- Am I willing to hear uncomfortable truths, or am I looking for someone to agree with me?
This isn’t about self-doubt. It’s about self-awareness. Because when you’re growing a company beyond your own experience, the most dangerous thing is not what you don’t know, it’s thinking you know when you don’t or believing you have time to work it out when you really don’t.
Now flip it and ask them the right questions
When you’re talking to a potential coach, mentor or consultant, don’t be shy. This is your future at stake. Ask:
- What size and stage of businesses have you built yourself?
- What happened when you sold, exited or closed your last business?
- Tell me about when you led your team through growth beyond £1m/£5m/£10m?
- What’s the biggest transformation you’ve helped a founder achieve?
- How do you challenge founders who think they already have the answers?
- What kind of founders do you not work with?
Generic “I help businesses grow” promises aren’t enough. You need fit, evidence, and above all, relevance to your next stage.
Do you really need help yet?
Maybe not today. But at some point on your journey, if you’re serious about scaling, you will hit the ceiling of your own experience. And when that time comes, don’t just look for help. Look for alignment, look for challenge, and look for someone who has the scars and the stories.
A call to clarity
If you’re still growing a founder-led business and aiming higher, start asking yourself this:
- What do I want my business to look like in five years?
- What do I need to let go of to get there?
- Who has already walked that path, and could help me see what I can’t yet see?
Whether you bring in a coach, mentor, consultant or something in between, make the choice with your future business in mind, not your current comfort zone.
The right help won’t just move your business forward, it’ll move you forward, and that’s where the real growth starts.
If you’d like a confidential conversation that will definitely not be a sales conversation, drop me a line here: https://calendly.com/markjarvis/grow-scale
Mark Jarvis
Founder | Interim MD | NED
Author of The Very Best Business Handbook You’ll Ever Own
Work with me:
I help owners, founders and leaders create a scalable business that works without them, build a world-class team, and 10x profitability. Book a call with me here to see if we could work together.
Remember, there are only three types of people – those who make things happen, those who wait for things to happen, and those who talk about why things don’t happen for them. Which one are you?
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